Introduction

Chapter One
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Chapter Two
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Chapter Three
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Chapter Four
Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Own Your Own Home
Chapter Three: The Last Laugh

[Part Nine of Twelve]

 


Well Charley I told you I would get back at these birds
& make them wisht they had of layed off of me &
before Im threw with them they will be cralling on
there hands & niece. . .


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Allison, Ill. Feb. 4.

     Brother Charley.   Well Charley you know the old saying a bout the 1 that laughs the last gets the best of it & the day after tomorrow I will be the 1 thats laughing & Hamilton & Carpenter will wisht they was in a hole some wheres hideing & they will find out they aint no body cant put nothing over on Fred Gross & get any thing but the worst of it.  I got evry thing fixed up & I aint said nothing to Grace or no body else a bout it accept Bob Barnes & I guess you know who he is Charley or if you dont you should ought to.  Hes the sherrif of Cook Co. Charley & they aint nothing I could ast him to do for me that he wouldent do on acct of what I done for him wile he was runing for sherrif.
     Well Charley I will half to tell you whats comeing off & how I got the tip to pull off what Im going to pull off on them.  The little irish girl that stays with the babys evnings some times was here Sun. & her & Grace was talking & the girl knows the girl that works for the Hamiltons next door to us & the Hamiltons higher girl told this little girl a bout Mrs. Hamilton bellonging to a auction bridge whist club that meets evry Thurs. P.M. & insted of playing for a regular prize like a pare of silk stockings or some thing they all stick in a $1.00 a peace & theys a bout 12 of them in the club & the 1 that wins the prize takes the $12.00 dollars in cash money & Mrs. Carpenters 1 of the club.  Well Charley there going to meet the day after tomorrow to Hamiltons house & may be you guest all ready whats comeing off.
     Well Charley I got the idear Sun. night after I was in bed & when I come down town yest. A.M. I went up in the county bldg & seen Bob & ast him would he do me a faver & he says any thing but lone me some money but he was jokeing Charley & he would lone me money to if I ast him but I says No I dident want to borry no money & then I told him what I wanted.  Well Charley I guess you know whats coming off.  When them swell society dames is haveing there little auction bridge whist game 1 of the deputy sherrifs is going to walk in on them & make a pinch see Charley.  Of corse Bob couldent come out & make the pinch him self because it would put him in bad but hes going to give the job to a deputy name Parker thats no good & Bobs trying to get rid of him any way & if theys any trubble comes up Parker will be the bird elect it to face the music.
     Well Charley I guess thats a poor idear & I guess that will make some story for the Chi papers & they wont be no chanct of them not hearing a bout it eh Charley.  I will see to that.
     Well Charley I told you I would get back at these birds & make them wisht they had of layed off of me & before Im threw with them they will be cralling on there hands & niece but I guess you under stand Charley that I aint trying to do no more then just scare them & of corse the women wont be pulled in or nothing like that but just a pinch & a little story in the papers.  Thats a plenty eh Charley.  Dont say nothing to Mary a bout it Charley because she might spill some thing a bout it to Grace in a letter & I aint sure yet that Im going to tell Grace.

Fred A. Gross.


Allison, Ill. Feb. 7.

     Brother Charley.   Well Charley the deeds done & its all over & they was a story in the papers this A.M. that would knock you dead & Im going to buy up some extra coppys of the papers & send you some of them & you will see if I fixed them swell heads or not only it came near being a bad mix up on acct. of this bone head deputy Parker that Bob sent out to make the pinch.  He pored a few glassis of currage down his throte before he went on the job & when he got ready to work he was all lit up like a church & went up & pound it on Hamiltons front door & when the higher girl opened up the door he pulled his gun and she shreeked & pretty near fainted & then Mrs. Hamilton come runing to the door & she must be a pretty game bird Charley because she looked the gat right in the face & ast Parker what he wanted & he showed her his star & says the place was pinched & she says what for & he told her for being a gambleing house & she ast him was it a joke or some thing & he says no & she ast to see his warent & he says he dident need no warent because he come under orders from the sherrif & then she told him to come & set down & he come in jugling the gun a round in his hand & 3 or 4 more of the women pretty near fell dead & it would of been just like him to take a shot at them but Mrs. Hamilton finely got the other women cammed down & told Parker to have a seat & then she called her husband up in town & he called the sherrifs ofice & got a hold of Bob on the wire & of corse Bob told him it must be some miss take so Hamilton got Bob to call up & talk to Parker & Bob told Parker to leave the women a lone & come back to head quarters & Parker dident know what to think but he beat it out of Hamiltons house & back to town & thats all they was to it.  But of corse some body called up the diffrunt papers & give them the story a bout a deputy sherrif radeing a swell gambleing joint in Allison & I bet the Hamiltons & Carpenters would of gave there right eye to not have that stuff in the papers.
     Well Charley dont say nothing to Mary because I aint going to tell Grace & I havent told no body only you & Bob Barnes of corse & no body else accept this here Martin that moved in next door to us on the left & may be I told you a bout him makeing so much noise new yrs. eve that I had to go over & tell them to shut up but he was all right a bout it & dident get sore but I & him was seting next to each other going in to town on the train this A.M. & he seen me reading the peace in 

the papers a bout the pinch at Hamiltons & I guess he seen me laughing & he ast me what the laugh was a bout & so I ast him if he could keep a secrit & he says sure so I told him all a bout it & when I got threw teling him he layed back in his seat & pretty near busted laughing & I says to him You know the old saying a bout the 1 that laughs the last gets the best of it & he says Thats me & he was laughing so loud that he drownded out the train.
     Well Charley I bet it wont be long before I will be writeing to tell you a bout them swell heads comeing over to call on Grace & they will know better after this then to put on heirs in front of peopl thats just as good is them and a hole lot better.
     Kindest to Mary.

Fred A. Gross.

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