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7 June 1913

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BY R. W. LARDNER
.
INFORMATION.

  The following is aimed to save time and trouble for Messrs. Sanborn and Weller and other baseball correspondents.  Fans are requested to clip it and paste it in their hats for reference.

  1.  No.  The ball clubs buy our railroad tickets and pay our hotel bills, and later collect from the paper.
  2.  Yes.  We know Ed Walsh personally.
  3.  Some of them are very nice fellows and others not as nice.   They’re just like any other set of men.
  4.  No.  He’s of Irish descent.
  5.  Yes.  We travel in the same cars and live in the same hotels, just as if we were members of the team.
  6.  Not at all.  It gets mighty tiresome along about August.
  7.  We write it (just as it appears in the paper) and turn it over to the telegraph company, which wires it, press rates.
  8.  No.  The headlines are written in the office.
  9.  He isn’t a crab off the field.

***

  Some may be able to glean satisfaction from the fact that Cincinnati’s two hits off Rucker were made by Tinker and Kling.

***

  With Deacon Phillippe still pitching effective ball, one wonders why Clark Griffith, who wants outfielders, doesn’t go after George Van Haltren.

***

  The dance hall proprietors who judged Bat Nelson intoxicated should not be criticised too harshly.  It wasn’t an unnatural mistake.

***

  The Cubs’ late rally against Hess served the purpose of reminding the public that there is a man named Heckinger on the west side roster.

***

CRUEL FATE.

It doesn’t seem quite fair to me,
I cannot figure why,
O. Hess’s annual victory
Should happen here in Chi.

***

  If Roger Bresnahan received a good hunting dog in exchange for Pitcher Hopper, the Detroit staff ought to bring a litter of poodles in the open market.

***

  There are those who pity Frank Farrell and Frank Chance.  The Jersey City club paid them real money for Clark and Klepfer, said to be pitchers.

***

  It is the general belief that if Joe Rivers made concessions and agreed to fight Ritchie, the latter would hardly be overwhelmed with joy.

***

  Organized ball’s knees are a-tremble, for Horace is threatening again.

***

  If we were pitching against the Pirates and there were men on bases, we’d rather see the devil himself come up to bat than Chief Wilson.

***

  Poor old Chris Von der Ahe was one of baseball’s greatest unconscious humorists, but we doubt that he, even at his best, had Horace tied.

***

  What in the world will we do if they bar boxing in Belgium?

***

  It seems to us that Jack Fournier once tried to play the outfield and skinned his nose diving forward for a fly ball that cleared the fence.

***

IMPRESSIONS.

  A Sox fan to the ball yard strayed,
  And saw a game of polo played.
  A car tipped over as it sped.
  "It runs like Ping," the Sox fan said.

  He closely watched New York’s machine;
  Such driving has been seldom seen.
  "O, what a pilot!" said the fan.
  "How very much like Callahan!"

  "Quick! Shoot for goal," the driver hissed*
  The mallet man swung hard--and missed.
  "How like our boys," the Sox fan croaked,
  "With two out and the bases choked."

  ___

  *We may make the Line with that.

 

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