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8 June 1913

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BY R. W. LARDNER
.
IMPORTANT MEETING.

  Up in Madison, Wisconsin,
  Where the strong and speedy athletes
  Strove for glory and for honor,
  Met the Big Nine’s ruling body,
  To transact important bus’ness.
  Heard a plea from old Nebraska,
  Which politely asked admission
  To the middle western conf’rence.
  And the board, the ruling body,
  After pondering the matter,
  Took no action on Nebraska.
  Next came up the mooted question,
  "Shall we sanction summer baseball?"
  And the board, each member thinking
  Deeply on this weighty subject,
  Took no action in the matter.
  How about that little college,
  Situated at Ann Arbor,
  And which nearly everybody
  Wishes to have reinstated?
  Yes, the board brought up the case of
  Michigan--and took no action.
  Satisfied with its grave labors,
  Three important matters settled
  Thus, the board adjourned till autumn.

***

  Manager Keesey would be pleased if Paynter worked at the job of whitewashing.

***

  Just as we were trying to get interested in the game of polo along came a dispatch from New York saying that one team had beaten another by a score of 3 to , which is much too deep for us.

***

  Suggestion to J. Callahan:  Why not confine Ping’s duties to hitting and let Walter Mattick play both center and left?

***

  Mr. Pierce evidently isn’t a southpaw with control where first base is concerned.

***

  Frank Chance would have been better pleased if the New York Meese [plural] had presented him with a Big Moose instead of a diamond.   There’s a diamond on the Polo grounds.

***

  "Neither of them," writes Bozeman Bulger, referring to Borton and Zeider, "has broken any records at speed on the bases."  And it is very fitting that his article, so maligning one of our very best little base runners, should be illustrated by a picture of the long nosed one, wearing the glove on his right hand and holding the ball in his left.

***

ANY TAKERS?

We’ll scrape together all we can--
  Which won’t be much--
And back this young McLoughlin man
  To beat the Dutch.

***

  If, as Mr. Weller suggests, Bob Browning were president of the National league his friends would all want annual Pippa Passes.

***

  Was the P. I. thinking only of Connecticut when he asked Callahan to pitch Walsh yesterday, or did he hope that Big Ed wasn’t just, quite, exactly--you know?

***

  The University of Washington ball team will carry an interpreter.  Certain other clubs we wot of could use these animals, to translate the announcements of the megaphone boys.

***

  We see by the papers that Harry Ackerland, the purchaser of Chance’s stock in the Cubs, has wagered considerable money on Pittsburgh in the league race. Harry isn’t going to let sentiment interfere with business.

***

Besides Jim Thorpe, John McGraw, Rube Marquard, and Christy Mathewson, whom crowds turn out to see, New York possesses Al Demaree, who can draw some himself.

***

THE FOURTH.
(By Joe Rivers.)

July the Fourth approaches,
When fighters grab the dough,
And there’s a match for every one
But Joe.

I hoped to battle Willie,
But Willie siad: "O, no;
Let’s make the Fourth a holiday
For Joe."

 

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